those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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