Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize