i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize