Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
