I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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