I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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