she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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