she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
