the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
