hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
