im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
so much tequila, so little girl.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
