end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
