We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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