It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize