Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize