Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
