He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Sacagawea was the original milf.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize