I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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