Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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