I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
