Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
