...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
