If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
