After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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