Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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