I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
