she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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