Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
