strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
