Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
