sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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