Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
