Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize