Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
