I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
