We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
