have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
