He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
