OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
