guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
