we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
