2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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