I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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