And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
