i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i love accidental penises.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
