Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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