I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
