i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
