her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Randomize
