you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize