Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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