Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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