I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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