Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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