Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
