so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm too high and old for this...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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