I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
