Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
